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Lise Lavigne Coaching https://liselavigne.com Mon, 08 Oct 2018 19:22:36 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=5.4 https://liselavigne.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/cropped-icon-ll-32x32.png Lise Lavigne Coaching https://liselavigne.com 32 32 BOUNDARIES https://liselavigne.com/boundaries/ https://liselavigne.com/boundaries/#respond Sun, 24 Jun 2018 17:53:18 +0000 https://liselavigne.com/?p=2823 I used to be a people pleaser.  I would put other people’s needs and wants well above my own.  I did that to the detriment of my own health, my time, my finances.  I went against my own values so many times as well because the only thing that mattered to me was other people’s […]

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I used to be a people pleaser.  I would put other people’s needs and wants well above my own.  I did that to the detriment of my own health, my time, my finances.  I went against my own values so many times as well because the only thing that mattered to me was other people’s happiness.  Have you ever done that?

Boundaries are clearly defined limits within which you are free to be yourself with no restrictions placed upon you by others as to how to think, feel or act.  It’s when you are actually free to say yes or no when you want to.  Boundaries are like a fence you put around your house to protect the things and people in it.  Without boundaries you can get hurt but when you have definite boundaries it creates safety for you and it teaches others how to treat you.  You need to know what’s acceptable and not acceptable to you and you need to make that understood by everyone around you.  Having boundaries is a great way to take care of ourselves.

Have you ever felt taken advantaged of or resentful for always giving, giving, giving?  That’s because you have given more than you are actually capable of giving.  We need to give out of our overflow.  If we give from our overflow then we can keep on giving because we are not utilizing our own supply.  When we use our own supply for others over and over again, we are allowing other people to keep on taking.  It is truly beneficial for everyone concerned when you set boundaries as it can also enable others to grow by being conscious of their own behaviours therefore allowing them to change.  Healthy boundaries create more of what you want and less of what you don’t want therefore you are more likely to foster the behaviour you want.

When you’ve never practiced setting boundaries it can be a little scary.  That’s normal.  It’s like anything though; the more you do it the better you’ll be.  You need to determine what you don’t want to tolerate anymore.  You need to be direct and firm yet kind and say that you can no longer accept that behaviour.  If someone keeps asking you for favours and you truly cannot do it, just say “no”.  The first few “no’s” are the hardest then it becomes easier and easier.  You don’t need to provide long explanations or defend yourself either.  Just be honest, direct and polite.

By setting boundaries, you will increase your self-esteem, you’ll get the respect from others and you will feel a sense of protection.  Whatever you do, stay strong and don’t give in.

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EMPOWER YOURSELF https://liselavigne.com/empower-yourself/ https://liselavigne.com/empower-yourself/#respond Sun, 24 Jun 2018 17:52:47 +0000 https://liselavigne.com/?p=2821 Many times certain situations happen in our life and it leaves us feeling powerless.  It could be a parent, a teacher, a kid at school, a significant other, an employer.  What happens is that we don’t know how to stand up and we keep focusing on the event and how much it hurts.  We then […]

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Many times certain situations happen in our life and it leaves us feeling powerless.  It could be a parent, a teacher, a kid at school, a significant other, an employer.  What happens is that we don’t know how to stand up and we keep focusing on the event and how much it hurts.  We then blame ourselves for not seeing it coming or we blame ourselves because maybe we were not good enough, didn’t say the right thing, didn’t have the right personality or the right looks.  We can waste years and years feeling so low and helpless, depressed and vulnerable and then we keep attracting the same kind of people who will take our power away again and again.  Let me say that the first thing you must believe is that the people who have hurt you are hurting themselves in one way or another.

In order to start feeling empowered we must change the way we view people and ourselves.  If for example we think that the actions of a particular person who hurt us is because that person was hurting and has issues in their own life, then it’s so much easier to find compassion for that person and not blame yourself.

Empowerment is accomplished by a series of small choices that build upon each other daily.  You don’t wake up one morning and say today I am strong and empowered.  It develops over time but there are certain steps we must take for this to occur.

There’s one thing I teach all my clients and that is about releasing the pain and the way you do this is by cutting yourself some slack otherwise you’re just going to make your situation worse.  Forgiving is like swiping the board clean so you can start something new.  Forgiving is not a feeling.  You don’t wait until you feel like forgiving.  You make a decision to forgive because you know that the pain associated with the events is preventing you from living your best life.  It doesn’t mean you resume the relationship or friendship.  It means letting go of what happened so it stays in the past.

I want to give you 3 tips today to empower yourself right away:

  • Believe in your own strength 

Write a list of things you have already overcome, learned, accomplished.

If you can do those you can do a lot more.  Anyone can change if they decide they want it and so can you.

  • Know who you are 

Figure out who you are by writing down your qualities, your values, your likes and dislikes, your passions, your goals, your dreams

By really knowing who you are you can appreciate your own uniqueness

  •   Take bold actions

Get out of your rut, your comfort zone, do at least one step towards what you want

I want to leave you with this final thought.  We are the average of the 5 people we spend most of our time with.  So take a look at who you hang out with and ask yourself whether they are supportive, positive and truly care about you.  Reduce the time in bad company.  Stay connected with people who actually have a positive impact on your life and this too will empower you.

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BECOMING CONFIDENT https://liselavigne.com/becoming-confident/ https://liselavigne.com/becoming-confident/#respond Sun, 24 Jun 2018 17:52:07 +0000 https://liselavigne.com/?p=2819 What is confidence?  Confidence is a belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities. So, all you have to do is believe, right?  As a kid you believed in magic, tooth fairy, Santa Clause, Easter bunny, etc.  It’s so easy to believe in others but when it comes to believing in ourselves not so much! […]

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What is confidence?  Confidence is a belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities.

So, all you have to do is believe, right?  As a kid you believed in magic, tooth fairy, Santa Clause, Easter bunny, etc.  It’s so easy to believe in others but when it comes to believing in ourselves not so much!

There are many reasons we may not feel confident:  poor upbringing, bullying, abuse, being mocked, having no support, being called names, failure at something we did.

When we have no confidence, it means we fear something.  What are you afraid of?  Think of what is the worst thing that could possibly happen.  Is the worst situation really that bad?

If you are under-confident, you’ll avoid taking risks and stretching yourself and you might just not try at all.  If, however, you are over-confident, you may take on too much risk, go beyond your capabilities, and crash badly.

We need the right amount of confidence.  We need to be realistic yes but we also need to stretch ourselves a little bit at a time.

A confident person will do what she believes to be right, even if others criticize.  She will be willing to take risks and go the extra mile to achieve better things.  She will admit her mistakes and learn from them.  She will accept compliments from others.

Confidence is built one step at a time,  one building block stacked upon another.  The good news is that we can all develop a higher level of confidence.  Isn’t that wonderful to know?  Confidence can be built with affirmations and positive thinking but when you set a goal and you achieve the goal, it builds you up quicker.  You’ve heard of “do it afraid”?  When we go beyond our fears, outside our comfort box, slowly but surely our confidence increases.  You must know what you want to be and what you want to do.  Confidence will grow by actually stepping out from your fear.

Examine where you are at right now and accept that you are there.  Then ask yourself where do you want to be.  Take small steps towards the goals that you have.  Believe in your heart that you can do it.  If it’s hard, bring to mind some of the things you have accomplished before.  That will give you a boost.  Because if you have achieved that in the past then you can achieve more.  Manage your thoughts.  Keep thinking that you can do that small step toward that vision you have for your life whatever that may be.  Step by step your confidence will grow but it starts with the belief that you can do it.  Soon you will look back and you will realize that you have become more confident than ever just because you have taken small steps towards what you wanted to do and who you wanted to be.

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Take Your Power Back https://liselavigne.com/take-power-back/ https://liselavigne.com/take-power-back/#respond Sat, 17 Feb 2018 01:44:47 +0000 http://liselavigne.com/?p=2775 So you are sick and tired of your life and wonder how to change it or if it’s even possible to live any differently. I am here to tell you that you most certainly can change many areas of your life. You just need to know some steps to succeed. All you have to do […]

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So you are sick and tired of your life and wonder how to change it or if it’s even possible to live any differently.

I am here to tell you that you most certainly can change many areas of your life. You just need to know some steps to succeed. All you have to do is decide you want something to change and then take action towards that.

Enter your name & email to receive the free action guide “Take Back Your Power” with 7 proven ways to make an impact on your life and do a complete turnaround.

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