Many times certain situations happen in our life and it leaves us feeling powerless. It could be a parent, a teacher, a kid at school, a significant other, an employer. What happens is that we don’t know how to stand up and we keep focusing on the event and how much it hurts. We then blame ourselves for not seeing it coming or we blame ourselves because maybe we were not good enough, didn’t say the right thing, didn’t have the right personality or the right looks. We can waste years and years feeling so low and helpless, depressed and vulnerable and then we keep attracting the same kind of people who will take our power away again and again. Let me say that the first thing you must believe is that the people who have hurt you are hurting themselves in one way or another.
In order to start feeling empowered we must change the way we view people and ourselves. If for example we think that the actions of a particular person who hurt us is because that person was hurting and has issues in their own life, then it’s so much easier to find compassion for that person and not blame yourself.
Empowerment is accomplished by a series of small choices that build upon each other daily. You don’t wake up one morning and say today I am strong and empowered. It develops over time but there are certain steps we must take for this to occur.
There’s one thing I teach all my clients and that is about releasing the pain and the way you do this is by cutting yourself some slack otherwise you’re just going to make your situation worse. Forgiving is like swiping the board clean so you can start something new. Forgiving is not a feeling. You don’t wait until you feel like forgiving. You make a decision to forgive because you know that the pain associated with the events is preventing you from living your best life. It doesn’t mean you resume the relationship or friendship. It means letting go of what happened so it stays in the past.
I want to give you 3 tips today to empower yourself right away:
- Believe in your own strength
Write a list of things you have already overcome, learned, accomplished.
If you can do those you can do a lot more. Anyone can change if they decide they want it and so can you.
- Know who you are
Figure out who you are by writing down your qualities, your values, your likes and dislikes, your passions, your goals, your dreams
By really knowing who you are you can appreciate your own uniqueness
- Take bold actions
Get out of your rut, your comfort zone, do at least one step towards what you want
I want to leave you with this final thought. We are the average of the 5 people we spend most of our time with. So take a look at who you hang out with and ask yourself whether they are supportive, positive and truly care about you. Reduce the time in bad company. Stay connected with people who actually have a positive impact on your life and this too will empower you.